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    Need Help Trusting God & Being Genuinely Transformed

    Paeter
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    Post  Paeter on March 4th 2019, 10:48 am

    I hate being in such a stereo-typical mode, boxed up with a label. But almost like clockwork I've been processing mortality in various ways leading up to and since turning 40 last April.
    I think I've determined that much of it can be linked to my very general, life-long tendency to worry about the unknown. But since there will always be unknowns, I really need to learn to trust God.

    So today I'm embarking on a spiritual journey with that specific focus. For now that will involve doing some Bible word searches, studies, meditation and memorization on passages about "trust" and "worry" wherever the Bible speaks on them. I also have one or two books that I hope will be good starting points to find other resources from qualified and wise believers. Depending on what things look like after those two approaches, I may look into seeing some kind of Christian counselor or therapist in case there are some tools I can bring to the fight I can't get elsewhere.

    Some really good things have already come from processing all of this. A deepened affection for my wife and boys, an improved focus in my priorities, and a renewed dependence on Jesus and the hope he offers. So I'm not looking to go back to how I saw life 3-5 years ago. I want to lean into the squirm of this process and experience nothing less than radically unpredictable levels of transformation through the renewing of my mind. (Romans 12:2) I want to be free of worries and fears that have been recurring parts of my life for as long as I can remember.

    I'm sure I can only speculate about what that journey will look like, so I'd really value your prayers as I step into it.

    Thank you!


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    WhiteBoy
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    Post  WhiteBoy on April 11th 2019, 9:11 pm

    Praying for you, Paeter. And happy birthday!


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    Paeter
    Paeter
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    Post  Paeter on April 12th 2019, 10:55 am

    Thank you so much! God has been very good and gentle with me on this journey so far. I'm hopeful about what he will do!


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    Changer4

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    Post  Changer4 on April 23rd 2019, 7:22 pm

    Hello Paeter.  The last time I commented on these forums was years in the past, but I want you to know that I found your content to be very helpful some time ago during a very troubling time in my life.  I had a severe crisis of faith in my senior year of high school and your work on the youtube channel in particular was a great comfort to me in marrying my faith in God with my many geek interests.  I've yet to meet a Christian who shares my same hobbies and this community was perhaps literally a godsend to an unconfident adolescent, though from shyness I mostly lurked from afar.

    I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with this anxiety, but I hope that the knowledge that your work helped to bring peace to a young Christian at the lowest point of his life can be some reason to rejoice.  God has used your 40 years to work real good, and from that you may take heart.

    Though I suspect you've a greater grasp of the proper verses than I, Philippians 4 has been a great comfort to me in my own struggle with anxiety recently, as has Tim Keller's sermon on the topic.  Perhaps they can be of some comfort to you as well.  

    God bless.


    Last edited by Changer4 on April 23rd 2019, 7:23 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : correction)
    Paeter
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    Post  Paeter Yesterday at 11:08 am

    Changer4 wrote: Philippians 4 has been a great comfort to me in my own struggle with anxiety recently

    Thank you! Phillipians 4:4-9 was one of the first passages I started memorizing when I began strategically incorporating scripture memorization into my life a few years back. But those words have certainly grown in their application to my life in recent years and I really appreciate the reminder about them, as well as you sharing your story and encouragement.

    God continues to be gentle with me in this process, allowing me to "trust that I'll eventually trust him", more fully, with his help! In what I'm currently reading and reflecting on, I'm experiencing some useful insights and have reason to hope that God will shape me at the perfect pace that he knows I can handle, to prepare me for what he knows is in my future.

    Thank you again!



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