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    My Gay Cousin Is Adopting

    AGoodReed
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    Post  AGoodReed on June 14th 2019, 2:32 am

    Just found out via Facebook that my cousin and his partner are planning to adopt. Ever since my daughter was born, I've felt much more sympathy for unfortunate children than ever before, and this fits the bill. All I can think of is this kid being raised by two dads and no mom, surrounded by doting people at whatever church they go to who claim Christ but seem to be twisting his teachings to suit their feelings. I'm already struggling with how I'm going to relate to my cousin, whom I used to be close with, when we travel to the U.S. in a couple weeks. If the time comes (obviously somewhere further in the future) when I meet this child, how do I love him or her without giving the impression that I approve of how his parents are living?

    Is it wrong to pray that they get denied?
    Paeter
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    My Gay Cousin Is Adopting Empty Re: My Gay Cousin Is Adopting

    Post  Paeter on June 14th 2019, 11:05 am

    AGoodReed wrote:Just found out via Facebook that my cousin and his partner are planning to adopt. Ever since my daughter was born, I've felt much more sympathy for unfortunate children than ever before, and this fits the bill. All I can think of is this kid being raised by two dads and no mom, surrounded by doting people at whatever church they go to who claim Christ but seem to be twisting his teachings to suit their feelings. I'm already struggling with how I'm going to relate to my cousin, whom I used to be close with, when we travel to the U.S. in a couple weeks. If the time comes (obviously somewhere further in the future) when I meet this child, how do I love him or her without giving the impression that I approve of how his parents are living?

    Is it wrong to pray that they get denied?

    Oh man, this is tough. I think the best thing to pray for might be that godly parents would be available to adopt any child in question and that, whatever the outcome, God use this process to speak and inject himself into the lives of your cousin and his partner.

    If an adoption goes through, that will not be ideal. And yet God brings loving people into the lives of children who live in all kinds of harmful situations. We all grow up in dysfunctional homes to some degree, and yet God can still reach us all.

    As for your role, I think you can love that kid and his adoptive parents, and even affirm their role as his/her parents. I can imagine a scenario where two brothers or two heterosexual males partner to run a small foster home, each serving as a "dad" to the kids they raise. Not sure if that scenario is legally possible in the U.S., but for kids with no better alternatives, that's a good scenario. The fact that the two men in your situation are engaging in a sinful type of relationship interaction is certainly related to their role as parents. But I think it can ultimately be treated as distinct as far as your relationships with all involved.


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    Paeter
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    Post  Paeter on June 14th 2019, 1:55 pm

    BTW, sorry I went into "fixit" mode. You posted this under prayer requests, so prayer for you should have been my first and primary expressed response. Definitely praying for you all, too.


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    AGoodReed
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    Post  AGoodReed on July 6th 2019, 12:14 pm

    An update: We had the family gathering last weekend. I saw all of my cousins, but none of the issues I mentioned came up. My gay cousin was very friendly with everyone, including me. I didn't have any opportunities to say anything, and my parents told me (later) that it wasn't the time or place to make any.

    I was disappointed when I overheard my sister's husband congratulating my cousin on planning to adopt. I don't think my sister concurred with him. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just trying to be friendly.

    The memorial service for my grandparents (and my grand-aunt, who also died recently) was less formal than I expected, and it was presided over by that same cousin. He seemed sure that both grandparents had answered the door when Jesus knocked and will be waiting for us in glory. Oddly, he also said that they cared about they're family more than anything, which seems to go against what Jesus said in Luke 14, as well as the greatest commandment. I'm probably reading too much into that.

    He also shared some Bible verses and something Grandma had written in a Sarah Young journalling thing. Sarah Young is the author of Jesus Calling, which is not very scriptural, but definitely seems like the thing a progressive Christian would support.

    So this stuff has me quite conflicted over the whole thing. But I don't know that there was or is anything I can do.

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