My death sentence.

I had a dream, born of too much KFC - not spiritual revelation. In my dream, my doctor delivered a set of test results; she said that I would die in exactly two years. Until then, I would be healthy, capable, and physically fit, able to do whatever I wished. And then my heart would explode.

I quickly discovered that my bucket list included things like: properly catechizing my children so that they would have a firm spiritual foundation, establishing a self-perpetuating business model to provide for my family, and disposing of the media that encircles my life so that it will not burden anyone else.

I wonder how many Christian brothers I have been able to bless in my life, and whether or not my unsaved friends have understood the importance of my faith and its application. I regret every night I have missed tucking in my children with a prayer.

I wonder now how to put this melancholy reflection into application, so that when I am called home my reward will be the praise of my heavenly father. And isn't that the goal we should all have?

I think alot of us have this fear from time to time. We get so busy in life and we loose site of what is really important. I know I have sat at work wondering what my family is doing and wishing I could be there. Yet my duty isn't just to be with them, I have to also provide for them too. But where do you draw the line? I work a job that must be staffed 24x7x365. I have worked 7am-7pm and then 7pm-7am and holidays and whenever you can think. Sometimes it would be really nice if God would just send me an email and be like "Hey, why don't you do this instead, it don't make sense, don't worry though I got ya." But for now, I just do the best I can to balance both sides. Often that involves putting my own agenda on hold, skipping what I want to do and getting 4 hours of sleep a night. I guess after all that writing I haven't told you anything you don't know. Sorry, I wish I could help. I do feel your pain though. Best of luck and my God lead you in all your ways!