Raising Teenagers

Can anyone recommend any good books or resources on raising teenagers? Especially from a Christian point of view. I think I need to level up.

My kids are constantly at each others' throats for no practical reason I can see other than cabin fever (and let's face it, that's probably enough).

My daughter has hit that akward 15-year-old "I-don't-want-to-talk-to-dad-I-just-want-to-be-moody" phase. I then get annoyed that she won't talk, which I'm sure doesn't help. I think we're both trying to figure out how to relate to one another in this new phase of life. I worry that she's hurting but I don't know how to help her.

I'm right there with you, my friend. My daughter is 19 and my son is 16. They are quite firmly teenagers. The best, most useful advice for me has come from Dr. James Dobson.

Dr. James Dobson wrote:Get them through it alive.

For me, that just kind of puts everything in perspective.

For additional resources, check out Dr. Dobson's website, starting with 4 Tips for Parenting Teenagers.

My own most useful resource has been Swindoll's book on being a godly man, 7 Promises of Promise Keeper. I know I'm not the first one to say this, but perhaps I'm finally starting to believe it myself: kids learn by watching what you do, rather than by doing what they're told. If I'm going to raise my children to be godly people, I must be one myself. No pressure, right?

mindspike wrote: I know I'm not the first one to say this, but perhaps I'm finally starting to believe it myself: kids learn by watching what you do, rather than by doing what they're told. If I'm going to raise my children to be godly people, I must be one myself. No pressure, right?

Yeah, no kidding. Is there someone that can handle this gig for me? lol!

And by the way, I think you made a typo. There is no way you have a 19 year old daughter. Was she in the backseat that day we were driving around together?

Asher is 12, starting Jr. High in the fall, and already showing some teenagery traits. I informed him yesterday as we were joking at the table, that he will discover that all teenagers develop a weakness that is like Kryptonite to them. They will do anything in their power to stay away from it. The life-ending substance called "embarrassment".

Thanks, Winston.
Great advice.
And I'll check out those resources.

Paeter wrote:
Asher is 12, starting Jr. High in the fall, and already showing some teenagery traits. I informed him yesterday as we were joking at the table, that he will discover that all teenagers develop a weakness that is like Kryptonite to them. They will do anything in their power to stay away from it. The life-ending substance called "embarrassment".

I also told him that parents are the "Kryptonite Man" of embarrassment. It just radiates from us like a bottomless well of torrential energy.

Paeter wrote:I also told him that parents are the "Kryptonite Man" of embarrassment. It just radiates from us like a bottomless well of torrential energy.

Well, you've prepared him for what's to come.

AdamCollings wrote:

Paeter wrote:I also told him that parents are the "Kryptonite Man" of embarrassment. It just radiates from us like a bottomless well of torrential energy.

Well, you've prepared him for what's to come.

[intense trailer font] "Nothing...can prepare him for what's coming."

I've raised two kids through their teens years and will have 5 at home in August. It's pandemonium at The Wilkerson's!

Like Winston said, you really just need to get them through it. Honestly, your parenting is mostly done. Any values, morals, etc. are already established in them. Now is the time to draw on the well of wisdom that you've instilled in them.

They're going to make mistakes. They're going to say the hate you. They're going to say, "I didn't ask to be born!"

Be an example. Live a Christ-centered life in front of them. Apologize, empathize and prioritize.

Be quick to apologize when you've hurt them.

Empathize with their struggle and pain, e.g., saying things like "That sounds hard."

Prioritize what's important, e.g., lavender hair might not want to be a hill you want to die on.

Hope this helps. I should have that book for you in about 7 years when I'm done raising my oldest.