"Apologizing" and/or "Saying Sorry"

I watch Jim Sterling now and then over lunch and he made an interesting distinction in his latest video between using the word "Sorry" versus some form of "I Apologize".

So I thought I'd put it to you guys. Imagine for a moment someone said something insensitive to you that wounded you a bit, and they are apologizing for it. (Let's assume both the wound and the apology are via text medium like texting or e-mail.) Do these two versions read the same to you, or do you find one more satisfying than the other?

A. I want to apologize for what I said to you yesterday.

B. I'm sorry for what I said to you yesterday.

I'd say B reads as more sincere.

But bear in mind I'm English, and we apologise for apologising too much. Sorry.

UKSteve wrote:I'd say B reads as more sincere..

Agreed, the formality of A, I would probably read as a forced apology, over a text medium. This is why we need emoticons

I've always thought of the two as synonymous, however, I think I have to agree with the consensus, that if I had to choose, "I'm sorry" is probably the more sincere. It's perhaps a little more personal, more vulnerable.

Um, akchually....

Okay, so I might possibly get hung up on words and their meanings, so I find "sorry" to be more correct.
After all, an "apology" is a defense, not in any way shape or form a way of showing contrition.
Now, one can apologize as a way of letting the other party in on why you did the thing that offended them.
"Apologize to your brother for slapping him."
"You had a mosquito on your back and I didn't want you to get Eastern Equine Encephalitis".
-proper apology as is:
"You have a stupid face and I don't like you."
-also a proper apology.

mikel.withers wrote:Um, akchually....

Okay, so I might possibly get hung up on words and their meanings, so I find "sorry" to be more correct.
After all, an "apology" is a defense, not in any way shape or form a way of showing contrition.
Now, one can apologize as a way of letting the other party in on why you did the thing that offended them.
"Apologize to your brother for slapping him."
"You had a mosquito on your back and I didn't want you to get Eastern Equine Encephalitis".
-proper apology as is:
"You have a stupid face and I don't like you."
-also a proper apology.

lol!
Yeah, I suppose you're right.

I tried not to weight the question at all, but it was Jim's whole point that "sorry" is a "real" apology and saying "I apologize" falls short for its formality.

I have to agree. For me, "sorry" communicates regret, where "I apologize" can feel like cold, formal surrender.

mikel.withers wrote:After all, an "apology" is a defense, not in any way shape or form a way of showing contrition.

Ok, now I'm gonna have to go and look up the definition of apology because that's not at all how I've always understood the word.
Funny how we take so much for granted in our lives without ever thinking about it.

OK.

So google search says:

express regret for something that one has done wrong.
"I must apologize for disturbing you like this"
synonyms: say sorry, express regret, be apologetic, make an apology, ask forgiveness, beg (someone's) forgiveness, ask for pardon, beg (someone's) pardon;

Which is basically what I've always thought.

However, Dictionary.com says
verb (used without object), apologized, apologizing.
1.
to offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury:
He apologized for accusing her falsely.
2.
to make a formal defense in speech or writing.

Which is exactly what Mike said. (Note: this also explains the word Apologist, which I always found extremely odd, until now.)

and then Cambridge Dictionary says
to tell someone that you are sorry for having done something that has caused problems or unhappiness for them:


This all proves just one thing to me - that English is a stupid language, and nobody can agree on what any of the stupid words mean!

AdamCollings wrote:This all proves just one thing to me - that English is a stupid language, and nobody can agree on what any of the stupid words mean!

When you teach ESL, you learn this sooner or later.

Dictionaries used to be something that was edited every twenty years or so. Today, they are edited whenever the publisher decides to because they are digital.
This frustrates the -bleep- out of me because our language is less "evolving" and more "liquifying".
An "Apologist" isn't one who says I'm sorry for believing in Christ, but one who makes the other person sorry that I believe in Christ. (old Apologist joke)