Home
I've mentioned a few times before, both here and on the podcast, that I really dislike nature, and nature seems to dislike me. It's like we have a peace treaty established where nature will stay out of my territory if I stay out of nature's territory.
Usually I end up breaking the terms of the treaty, by going on some church camping trip or family function. But this week, nature is breaking the treaty.
There is a bird in our neighborhood that is AGGRESSIVELY protecting something. A nest, itself, I don't know. But on Friday my wife discovered that every time she made the loop through our neighborhood and jogged past its tree, it began making lots of noise and swooping down in a locked-on attack formation behind her. I had just jogged that morning and not noticed anything, although I did have my headphones on loudly as usual, so I might have missed it.
Yesterday, I noticed it. It was doing the same thing to me, locking on in formation behind me, gliding just a few feet behind my head, cawing intensely! I swerve, I cross the street, it stays with me until I am out of its territory. Then the same thing repeats the next time I pass. I did try waving it away, and that may have been what caused it to swerve off. But I was also close to being out of its zone at that time, so I can't be sure.
Now, I'm confident this bird couldn't kill me. But I don't know how sharp that beak might be or if it might eventually go as far as attacking. I'm tempted to go jogging with a tennis racket, cuz I'm pretty sure I could wack that sucker. But that might be illegal, I don't know.
I could call animal control, but they might just tell me its not serious enough for them to come out, and then I'd feel really stupid and wimpy.
So instead... I'm going to have Holly make a video recording of the bird trying to attack me. (I'll be recording her too, as she makes her pass.) We usually don't jog/walk together, but today we'll stand united in the name of "possibly-getting-some-crazy-footage-for-exploitation-on-the-internet".
I'm legit nervous. If you've played Far Cry 4, 5 or Primal, you've had those moments where an eagle crys out and then swoops down to attack. You hear the sound, turn and look up just in time to see wing-ed terror blot out the sun and swoop down upon you. That's what this feels like, but with a real beak attached to it.
(Deep breath and exhale)
Alright. Holly will be home and ready soon. Time to get changed and go play "Far Cry: Suburbia".
Now where did I put my scoped sniper rifle...
Usually I end up breaking the terms of the treaty, by going on some church camping trip or family function. But this week, nature is breaking the treaty.
There is a bird in our neighborhood that is AGGRESSIVELY protecting something. A nest, itself, I don't know. But on Friday my wife discovered that every time she made the loop through our neighborhood and jogged past its tree, it began making lots of noise and swooping down in a locked-on attack formation behind her. I had just jogged that morning and not noticed anything, although I did have my headphones on loudly as usual, so I might have missed it.
Yesterday, I noticed it. It was doing the same thing to me, locking on in formation behind me, gliding just a few feet behind my head, cawing intensely! I swerve, I cross the street, it stays with me until I am out of its territory. Then the same thing repeats the next time I pass. I did try waving it away, and that may have been what caused it to swerve off. But I was also close to being out of its zone at that time, so I can't be sure.
Now, I'm confident this bird couldn't kill me. But I don't know how sharp that beak might be or if it might eventually go as far as attacking. I'm tempted to go jogging with a tennis racket, cuz I'm pretty sure I could wack that sucker. But that might be illegal, I don't know.
I could call animal control, but they might just tell me its not serious enough for them to come out, and then I'd feel really stupid and wimpy.
So instead... I'm going to have Holly make a video recording of the bird trying to attack me. (I'll be recording her too, as she makes her pass.) We usually don't jog/walk together, but today we'll stand united in the name of "possibly-getting-some-crazy-footage-for-exploitation-on-the-internet".
I'm legit nervous. If you've played Far Cry 4, 5 or Primal, you've had those moments where an eagle crys out and then swoops down to attack. You hear the sound, turn and look up just in time to see wing-ed terror blot out the sun and swoop down upon you. That's what this feels like, but with a real beak attached to it.
(Deep breath and exhale)
Alright. Holly will be home and ready soon. Time to get changed and go play "Far Cry: Suburbia".
Now where did I put my scoped sniper rifle...
Sorry. It is quite wrong of me to be amused by your misfortune. But amused I am.
