Talking about sin

Why do you think Christians don't want to talk about the sin that they are dealing with?
I'm asking this question to myself too because it's hard for me to talk about the sins I've done and sins that I'm currently dealing with. Our sins is the whole reason why Christ died for us but it's taboo to talk about in the church. Unless it's someone else sin

Pride. This is probably the biggest one. I just don't like admitting my faults.

There's also a bit of accountability, too. If I share with you things that I'm struggling with something, you might ask me later how I've been doing with that (as you should) and I might have to admit (again) that I've screwed up (again). Now that I think about it, this is pretty related to my first one.

A third one could be exposure. This may not be a reason for not sharing, but maybe more of a benefit of not sharing. In some ways not knowing about all the sins my pastor struggles with helps me to hold him in higher regard. If I knew all his faults, I might not look up to him as much. We should hold Christ as our goal of sanctification, but practically speaking we are influenced by those around us. If I know you're sinning in one area (whether it the same area as me or not) I won't feel as bad about sinning in my area. This could be a slippery slope where everyone is pulling each other down. This is one of the reasons it's important to choose good friends.

Not sure I said the last one as good as I could have, but hopefully y'all get what I mean.

I do see benefits to sharing faults with others, and do. I do see enough danger with my third point though that I don't get very specific publicly. Privately with close friends who know my spiritual sincerity already and are spiritually mature enough to understand/relate/handle it, I do share occasionally and they help hold me accountable. I think we should all have an "accountability partner" like that with whom we can share details about what we struggle with and will help sharpen us.

I with you on this one. It's embarrassing to talk about your own sin. I think you covered that pretty well.

I'm thinking also that there are some things that I just don't want to be a sin. Like going back to bed after the kids are off to school instead of going to work. Like eating the leftover pizza for lunch even though I know the kids are going to want to snack on it after school. Like hanging out at my friend's comic book shop, reading his books, and calling it market research. What, you didn't think I was going to get too detailed did you? See the post above!

The point is that there are things which I do that twinge my conscience, either because I know they're wrong, or because using my time/money/resources this way may not be the best choice I could make. If I bring it up, and it turns out to be sinful, or someone else knows that I'm doing it and it's sinful, then I'll have to stop. What if I don't want to stop?

I've got to get my market research somewhere, right? And I bring donuts....

There's also a bit of accountability, too. If I share with you things that I'm struggling with something, you might ask me later how I've been doing with that (as you should) and I might have to admit (again) that I've screwed up (again). Now that I think about it, this is pretty related to my first one.
I find that having an accountability group actually makes it easier to talk to them about my sins that I'm dealing with. This is because I know that they don't and won't judge me because in talking about it, I'm simply admitting that I'm still human, and althought I have accepted Christ as my savior, I will stumble. These men I keep myself accountable to remind me that Christ will always be along side me to forgive me, pick me up, and continue to walk with me. Plus, having this accountability group means that I'm more likely to run from sin and temptation. The guilt I would have in indulging in a sin, then having to face my accountability group and try to lie to them that I hadn't, would be too much to bear.


A third one could be exposure. This may not be a reason for not sharing, but maybe more of a benefit of not sharing. In some ways not knowing about all the sins my pastor struggles with helps me to hold him in higher regard. If I knew all his faults, I might not look up to him as much.

In this point, I think you're right, in that the exposure scares most people. However, I will disagree with not wanting to know my pastor's struggles. This goes back to my previous point. I'm not saying I want all the fine details of his sin. If I do put my pastor up on such a high pedestal (or look up to him with such high regard), I might start to overlook the fact that he's human, just like me. In my mind, it puts a seperation between him and I. If I need to talk to him, and don't think (or know) that he's dealt with a sin as well, then how could I talk to him? The only one who never sinned and stil knows what my sin is like is Christ Jesus. And I know I can talk to Him and He'll understand. But if I think my pastor (a human like me) hasn't dealt with sin (or a sin like my sin), why would I go to him to find a way to deal with it? (Hope that all made some sense.)

In dealing with my middle school kids at church, I'm fairly open about some of the sins I've struggled with. I haven't talked about all of them, but the ones that have come up in conversation we have discussed. No graphic details, but enough for them to realize that even though I'm a volunteer youth leader, I'm still a sinner. I'm a forgiven (reformed) sinner, but still a sinner, just like them. I want them to understand that no matter the sin, they can talk about it with us, because it's probably something we've gone through.

All good points.

I think that American evangelicalism has become so individualized that the idea that we can beneift from accountability to another, to confession to another sounds foreign. We have become a "just me and Jesus and nobody else" culture.

Yet I came from a group were group confession was used as a control tactic...

I was not referring to group confession -- yes, that is a control tactic, especially "useful" in a top-down, leader-focused church. That being said, group confession does have a long and beneficial history in the church.

I was referring to us not having a sacrament of confession, not necessarily to a preist, but we (American evangelicals) don't have much expeience with that, or with spiritual direction, or other one-on-one confession models.