Story I've been working on

Hey, everybody, I haven't written anything in a long while, but I've been really inspired by this story idea, and was wondering if anyone here would be interested in seeing what I've got so far. I set up a blog to post the sections as I go at http://rohelvenwriting.blogspot.com/

It's got a fantastic premise that isn't immediately apparent (but is put out there in the third entry) and it's not explicitly Christian, but there are Christian characters and relevant themes. Fair warning: there are occasional swear words in the dialogue, in case anyone wishes to avoid that.

Dunadwarf has been giving me running feedback, but since we're so alike in our fiction tastes I thought it might be best to get other opinions. (Well, that, and feedback from your boyfriend is always going to be at least a little biased. ) So any constructive criticism would be appreciated. Also, if anyone knows how to get the blog entries to display in reverse order (oldest first), that would be helpful, too... otherwise, spoilers could become a problem.

I'll take a look and leave a comment, sure!
You might check out my new blog: The Writer's Block, daily during NaNoWriMo, for tips, advice, and encouragement!
http://criticalpressmedia.com/category/movable-type/writers-block/

Thanks for taking a look, Mindspike. I've just posted two new parts that I've been working on in the meantime. I'm at the point now where the plot hits its stride, and I wanted to make very sure this bit worked. That's part of why I opened the story where and how I did, because I wanted to start as close to the action as possible. I'm told that's generally a good idea.

To address some of your suggestions, part of why I didn't give a whole lot of detail about Calla or her place is because when I've written things in the past, I've really overdescribed and gotten bogged down in minutiae, all while the plot is stalled out. In trying to consciously avoid that, I guess I may have overcompensated some. Since the reader's going to be spending plenty of time around Calla, her apartment, and her work, I thought it would be better to let the picture fill in gradually. Again, I've been guilty of some really clumsy infodumps in the past. ("As you know...") The dagger you mentioned, for instance- that gets an explanation in part 5, when another character notices it... and some additional significance later.

Dunadwarf had suggested that I consider some kind of prologue to set things up a little better, perhaps from a perspective other than Calla's, to give the reader a heads-up that this isn't the kind of story they may think from the opening I have here, and to give a little extra early tension. Do you think that would help at all?

I really like part 3 as an introduction to Calla, her life, and her situation. There's nothing wrong with how you've set things up. It's a matter of pacing and context. My best advice at this point? Keep writing on the track you've got, and tell the story! Afterward, in the editing process, is the time to address issues like this. You have good form, and a clear, smooth style. Maintain that, and everything else is a matter of refinement instead of accomplishment.